Helen Speak: A life of abuse and trauma story.

My Life Story in written Form: A life of Abuse and Trauma 
By Helen Speak

I was Born in Halifax, and lived with my parents, my mum Christine and my dad, Alan, as well as one older sibling, a brother, Peter.

At 8 weeks old my family moved to Steering a little village on the outskirts of Keighley. 

My dad worked long unsociable hours, had lots of sporting past times and liked to gamble on the horses. He was never at home. 

My Mum was physically and mentally abusive towards me and my brother, up to me being the age of 9/10.  

My mother also was having an affair an and my parents separated. Mum was the one who left the family home. 

Once my mum left, my brother became physically abusive towards me, he took over where my mum left off. It wasn’t long before I was the victim of sexual abuse. 

My dad met a new partner, and in turn Peter and myself were pushed out so forced to go and live with our mum. 

By this point, my mum had got a new partner too, who she went on to marry. However, in the meantime my mum became ill and was diagnosed with cancer.

My mum passed away on 14/01/93, aged 41. At the time I was 14 years old and my brother 16.

I finished school sitting my GCSE’s but didn’t do well at all. I started health & social care at college but only lasted about 8 weeks. 

I became very promiscuous and ended up hanging around with Asian grooming gangs in Keighley and eventually running away with one man for a period of time.

After my return to Keighley, aged 17 it wasn’t long before I met and married my first husband who was 23 years older than me. We ended up having 2 children together however, in 2000 we divorced. 

In 2002 I had an abortion, I became a victim of harassment from neighbours and had my windows smashed and found out one of my children had been abused. 

In 2003 I moved to a small village on the outskirts of Keighley. Life was better they were mostly happy times. Where I met one of my best friends. The sister I never had and many others whom, are still close friends to this day.

In 2005 I met my second husband and in 2006 we married. In both 2007 & 2009 our children were born, during which time in 2007 we had moved back to Halifax, where you purchased our first home together. 

In 2010 the marriage broke down and we split. 

I soon began a new relationship which was volatile to say the least. Over a period of time I started to believe my children were suffering from abuse. Although not from within my household. It took a while for the truth to come out and finally it did in 2013, the same year I became a victim of domestic violence. 

I absolutely hit rock bottom and was on the verge of a mental breakdown. I did something that was unforgivable. I took my youngest children to School and told them I wouldn’t be returning for them, telling the school too. That morning I was going to buy a gun and even sent text messages to ‘someone’ threatening them, that I was going to kill them. 

Obviously, I didn’t follow through with my threat and I was arrested the day after and received an adult caution.

Just before the police had come to my house my family had realised my children were not where they were meant to be and were in fact at a house that was unsafe. I spent hours in a cell wondering what the hell was going on. I asked and asked the police to sort it and they were very good and nice to me. 

My social worker rang the station and I was allowed to go to the phone to speak to her where she asked me to stay quiet while she explained that my kids were safe and had been removed from where they were. I was reunited with my kids under supervision because of my mental state. 

Eventually we upped and left our family, friends, my job and my house. To get rid of my house I had to declare myself bankrupt.

We moved to Scarborough in 2014, something I have always said saved my life, as if I hadn’t, I’d have been dead, in a mental institution or prison by now.

I knew I wanted to help people but was unsure of what exactly I wanted to do. I returned to education as a mature student and I went for personal therapy. As I started to recover from some of my past experiences, I became inspired by my therapist and decided I could do what he was doing. 

I joined The Samaritans as a volunteer and had 4 different job roles over a period of 5 years. 

I worked my way up and went onto university to study counselling. I completed the theory part of the degree in April last year and graduate this July, due to a delay in completing the required placement hours. 

I had said for a number of years I wanted to write a book but in reality, this was unlikely. Then as world mental health week approached and went

I decided I could help others in a different way. Which was when I decided to tell my life story in the form of videos. 

Just before Christmas I thought I could do more and so began looking into starting up a group on Facebook. 

I asked my friends what they thought and within a few weeks we were up and running with... Speak Out Community Support Group.

I still want to be a counsellor however work is hard to find in this area. Therefore, I’m considering going into private practice. But you never know where things will lead and I am excited for the future and the challenges that I might face.

As a whole, things have been better since moving to Scarborough 7 years ago, however, it’s far from perfect. We still have bad times and are all recovering from the life events we have suffered. 

I am who I am, I will not let my past define me and I won’t let my past dictate my future. 

My children are the reason I eat, sleep and breathe. 

My Life Story is my inspiration for living the best life I can. It doesn’t matter what life throws at you. Get up and fight another day. Life is precious live it while you can, as we aren’t all that lucky.

You can also follow my Life Story by watching my videos. My videos are brutal and honest and may be difficult for some people to watch.

Helen. 

Thank you for sharing your life story Helen. 

It's great to see you have come through all of the trauma you've experienced and turned it into a positive in wanting to help others, very commendable and full respect for you in doing so. 

We hope your story can help others who have or currently are suffering.
Anyone wanting to reach out to Helen for advice on their own struggles please join her group on Facebook, Speak Out Community Support Group, where she will be more than happy to assist in anyway possible. Very approachable and keen to assist. 

Thank you again,

Mark 💪