My Life Story in written Form: A life
of Abuse and Trauma
By Helen Speak
By Helen Speak
I was Born in Halifax, and lived with
my parents, my mum Christine and my dad, Alan, as well as one older sibling, a
brother, Peter.
At 8 weeks old my family moved to
Steering a little village on the outskirts of Keighley.
My dad worked long unsociable hours,
had lots of sporting past times and liked to gamble on the horses. He was never
at home.
My Mum was physically and mentally
abusive towards me and my brother, up to me being the age of 9/10.
My mother also was having an affair
an and my parents separated. Mum was the one who left the family home.
Once my mum left, my brother became
physically abusive towards me, he took over where my mum left off. It wasn’t
long before I was the victim of sexual abuse.
My dad met a new partner, and in turn
Peter and myself were pushed out so forced to go and live with our mum.
By this point, my mum had got a new
partner too, who she went on to marry. However, in the meantime my mum became
ill and was diagnosed with cancer.
My mum passed away on 14/01/93, aged
41. At the time I was 14 years old and my brother 16.
I finished school sitting my GCSE’s
but didn’t do well at all. I started health & social care at college but
only lasted about 8 weeks.
I became very promiscuous and ended up
hanging around with Asian grooming gangs in Keighley and eventually running
away with one man for a period of time.
After my return to Keighley, aged 17
it wasn’t long before I met and married my first husband who was 23 years older
than me. We ended up having 2 children together however, in 2000 we
divorced.
In 2002 I had an abortion, I became a
victim of harassment from neighbours and had my windows smashed and found out
one of my children had been abused.
In 2003 I moved to a small village on
the outskirts of Keighley. Life was better they were mostly happy times. Where
I met one of my best friends. The sister I never had and many others whom, are
still close friends to this day.
In 2005 I met my second husband and
in 2006 we married. In both 2007 & 2009 our children were born, during
which time in 2007 we had moved back to Halifax, where you purchased our first
home together.
In 2010 the marriage broke down and
we split.
I soon began a new relationship which
was volatile to say the least. Over a period of time I started to believe my
children were suffering from abuse. Although not from within my household. It
took a while for the truth to come out and finally it did in 2013, the same
year I became a victim of domestic violence.
I absolutely hit rock bottom and was
on the verge of a mental breakdown. I did something that was unforgivable. I
took my youngest children to School and told them I wouldn’t be returning for
them, telling the school too. That morning I was going to buy a gun and even
sent text messages to ‘someone’ threatening them, that I was going to kill
them.
Obviously, I didn’t follow through
with my threat and I was arrested the day after and received an adult caution.
Just before the police had come to my
house my family had realised my children were not where they were meant to be
and were in fact at a house that was unsafe. I spent hours in a cell wondering
what the hell was going on. I asked and asked the police to sort it and they
were very good and nice to me.
My social worker rang the station and
I was allowed to go to the phone to speak to her where she asked me to stay
quiet while she explained that my kids were safe and had been removed from
where they were. I was reunited with my kids under supervision because of my
mental state.
Eventually we upped and left our
family, friends, my job and my house. To get rid of my house I had to declare
myself bankrupt.
We moved to Scarborough in 2014,
something I have always said saved my life, as if I hadn’t, I’d have been dead,
in a mental institution or prison by now.
I knew I wanted to help people but
was unsure of what exactly I wanted to do. I returned to education as a mature
student and I went for personal therapy. As I started to recover from some of
my past experiences, I became inspired by my therapist and decided I could do
what he was doing.
I joined The Samaritans as a
volunteer and had 4 different job roles over a period of 5 years.
I worked my way up and went onto
university to study counselling. I completed the theory part of the degree in
April last year and graduate this July, due to a delay in completing the
required placement hours.
I had said for a number of years I
wanted to write a book but in reality, this was unlikely. Then as world mental
health week approached and went
I decided I could help others in a
different way. Which was when I decided to tell my life story in the form of
videos.
Just before Christmas I thought I
could do more and so began looking into starting up a group on Facebook.
I asked my friends what they thought
and within a few weeks we were up and running with... Speak Out Community
Support Group.
I still want to be a counsellor
however work is hard to find in this area. Therefore, I’m considering going
into private practice. But you never know where things will lead and I am
excited for the future and the challenges that I might face.
As a whole, things have been better
since moving to Scarborough 7 years ago, however, it’s far from perfect. We
still have bad times and are all recovering from the life events we have
suffered.
I am who I am, I will not let my past
define me and I won’t let my past dictate my future.
My children are the reason I eat,
sleep and breathe.
My Life Story is my inspiration for
living the best life I can. It doesn’t matter what life throws at you. Get up
and fight another day. Life is precious live it while you can, as we aren’t all
that lucky.
You can also follow my Life Story by
watching my videos. My videos are brutal and honest and may be difficult for
some people to watch.
Helen.
Thank you for sharing your life story Helen.
It's great to see you have come through all of the trauma you've experienced and turned it into a positive in wanting to help others, very commendable and full respect for you in doing so.
We hope your story can help others who have or currently are suffering.
Anyone wanting to reach out to Helen for advice on their own struggles please join her group on Facebook, Speak Out Community Support Group, where she will be more than happy to assist in anyway possible. Very approachable and keen to assist.
Anyone wanting to reach out to Helen for advice on their own struggles please join her group on Facebook, Speak Out Community Support Group, where she will be more than happy to assist in anyway possible. Very approachable and keen to assist.
Thank you again,
Mark 💪